Thursday, 28 July 2011

Redecorating

My room is being plastered and painted. This inconvenience has left me writing a post on a primitive laptop using keys so thin they barely acknowledge my presence, and nothing pisses me off more than being ignored. I tried to move the cursor to the My Computer shortcut with the pressure sensitive touchpad, but ended up starting MS Word, initiating the task manager, and selecting an MC Hammer desktop wallpaper. Why is the whole of modern technology designed for a race of Smurf-like creatures? Well anyway, I wasn’t worried about catching up with your blogs because really, how many posts could you possibly write in two days?

The answer is fifty nine.

Don’t you people have jobs or something?! I had to tell my little brother I couldn’t be there for his Birthday because bloggers were expecting me to read their posts. He cried. I hope you’re satisfied.

32 comments:

  1. I'm satisfied.

    Missed you Drake.

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  2. I can relate, I have huge fingers and the touch pad on my laptop was made for a Hobbit. Or a midget. And it never goes where I point it to.

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  3. You did the right thing!

    Glad you're back at it, even it it means struggling over your made-for-a-Smurf computer - we are worth the effort!

    Cheers, Jenny

    Okay, tell your little bro that I'm sending him a huge, squishy, birthday hug, Smurf style.

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  4. Heidi – Of course you did. Now that I’m back your lives have been given purpose once again.

    Oilfield – Let’s think about this: who has waning physical strength, and the small size needed to operate these devices? The elderly. Modern technology is aimed towards a technophobic demographic who think computers are powered by witchcraft!

    Pearson – Smurftastic.

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  5. I need my own gaggle of smurfs to do household chores. Especially when it comes to cleaning those hard to reach places in the bathroom...

    Sorry about the blog bombardment. I post every day, which isn't as overwhelming as it sounds.

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  6. It would seem that they make all of this equipment for 13 year old girls or something.
    Tell your brother to man up. After all who's more likely to be there for you in your old age, your little brother or a group of anonymous bloggers?

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  7. Disappointment builds character. Your little brother thank us later. You? Not so much.

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  8. Your little brother needs to get used to disappointment...he'll live. Glad to see you have your priorities straight. As for your small sized keyboard I don't think there is anything wrong with smurfs or people with dainty hands...just because you are a real man with sausage fingers don't get mad at the computer.

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  9. you know you love MC Hammer.

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  10. Blogging is serious business! and please tell me you kept the MC Hammer wallpaper.

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  11. Nope, no jobs :D I'm a student and this is summer break.

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  12. Idaho – You’re a fan of Smurf porn too?

    George – Guess they make a scene until their mom buys one for them. Parenting isn’t what it used to be.

    IB – Adversity.

    Jewels – Can’t touch this.

    Rachel – I love his ridiculous trousers which were designed for a man three hundred pounds heavier.

    Mike – It wasn’t my computer. So yes!

    Pieter – You will succumb to the siren call of McDonald’s employment.

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  13. Only 59? You slacker, how many blogs do you follow? I look away for 5 minutes and it seems I have that many unread. 70 taunting me at the moment and all because I decided to watch master chef and talk to a friend last night instead of blog. Ok, maybe a few were from the day before but plans are afoot to cancel all real life activity, grab a bottle of red and spend a thrilling Friday night catching up.
    See, and I am doing yours before I even get out of bed, cause you are special.

    You didn't say, are you painting your own room?

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  14. HA! Your brother owes me money. Tell him he makes with a piece of cake or I post the picture.

    He knows which picture...

    Pearl

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  15. If you think computers are bad for the sausage fingered male try mobile phone's. I lent my Dad my phone once and he returned it after ten minutes saying that he could not even dial a number because his fingers were pressing multiple buttons at once. Maybe you could grow your finger nails really long and use them instead!

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  16. I know, right? Some people are machines. They blog every day and it's always awesome.

    Now excuse me while I die of jealousy.

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  17. Throw your little brother an "un-birthday" party with some MC Hammer music and then take him to the Smurf's movie.

    Everyone has their priorities.

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  18. Yep. that's all I really needed to hear. Perfect. Tell your brother thanks.

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  19. No, I like disappointment in this case.

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  20. Reason #1 why Drake rocks this ish'... MC Hammer wallpaper, need I say more?!

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  21. Mwahahaha! I was not part of the people who updated - I was gettin' stuff done m'self!

    Nice coffee table in the previous post by the way. I'm too lazy to comment on all of the posts but I'm reading them, I swear!

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  22. Mynx – Err no, I’m not very handy. The only thing I ever built was an ash tray, and that caught fire.

    Pearl - *Hands Pearl some spit-dripping cake*

    Alice X – And I could flay my enemies!

    Lemons – Admittedly I am a little jealous myself. Finding the time for a new topic every single day showcases a level of endurance on par with a Lord of the Rings marathon.

    J Day – It’s not out yet, and I wouldn’t see that movie if the cinema paid me!

    Kiri – Bless you.

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  23. Please Hammer, don't hurt 'em.

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  24. I loathe when you try to move the cursor and somehow end up changing the screen size to Jack and the Beanstalk-big or Alice in Wonderland-tiny. So freaking annoying.

    Maybe some big cyber-blogging hugs for your birthday-brother will help. *HUGS HUGS HUGS* Okay, maybe not, but it's the thought that counts, right? Maybe, kinda, sorta?? ;)

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  25. I can so relate. I'm supposed to be on vacation, but every time I look at the number of new posts in my google reader, I want to faint.

    That's how I justify only posting every few days...I figure people don't REALLY want to read more than that anyway, right?

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  26. lol. you should try just plugging your computer into your tv, get a bluetooth keyboard and mouse and just sit back on your couch and forget about touchpads. I hate them too....

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  27. Make a little one cry? Entirely satisfied. Thanks Drake!

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  28. Had spread their cursed deed, and honourd name Following!

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  29. Your little brother needs to move into the real world and realise what kind of a person you are. Go and buy him a Mars bar to make up for it, the poor little badly treated guy!!

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  30. hey Babe, you ok? You have been very quiet and I am missing my cheeky cookie monster.

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